Blog Archives

All I Want For Christmas

It can be hard this time of year when commercials for everything we could ever want are running non-stop. The mailbox is full of ads and sale after sale is announced on the radio. It can be pretty easy to get convinced we actually NEED all of the things we’re hearing about.

It is o.k. to want things, as long as you remember your worth isn’t determined by what you have or don’t have. When you see an ad, most of the time, the goal of the company doing the selling is to make you feel like your not good enough unless you have their product. You will be healthier, prettier, more popular, more fit, more fun, and all around happier if you just buy what they are selling.

The truth is, while you may feel happy for awhile after buying something that you think will make you feel better about yourself, true happiness comes from believing in yourself and liking yourself. 

Happiness, it turns out, starts on the inside!


How To Untrain A Bully

Have you ever felt like this? Like any excitement or good things or fun you felt as you started your day had been sucked away, and there you were, feeling faded and fragile. Bullies can do that to us. A single comment, look, or action can make us feel bad, but a trademark of bullies is the continued comments, looks, or actions that make us feel bad every day, leaving us wilted like a flower without sun or fresh water.

Traditionally it was thought most kids who bully do it because they’re insecure or just not very smart. When your parents were kids they were probably told to ignore bullies, or that bullying was just something kids had to deal with growing up. Do your parents tell you that? If they do, it may be because that’s what they were told.

Although some bullies may be insecure, that’s not always the case. Most people who bully want to feel in control, whether it’s because they don’t feel control in other areas of their life or they feel power over other people will help them climb the social ladder. One way bullies choose to get this feeling of control is to try to control other people’s emotions; and sometimes the person they pick is you.

If some time in your life, that person IS you, here is one thing you can do: Click here to continue reading about bullies

Talking Bout My Generation – Generation Z

Have you ever heard your parents or grandparents talk about the Baby Boomers? Or Generation X or Y? Those are names given to people born in a certain time frame – a generation – and each generation usually has its own group of characteristics. Your generation – people born between about 1995 and 2010 – is called Generation Z. Generation Zers don’t know what life was like before the internet. In fact, 96% of 12 – 17 year olds in the United States use the internet at least once a month

Generation Z

What else are they saying about your generation?

  1. The “popular girls” will care less about brand names and more about their own personal style.
  2. You love to share what you know and what you think about a lot of different things, and it’s easy for you to do with the internet.
  3. Your lives are more structured than your parents were, and it is predicted you will be responsible adults with high social values.
  4. You will be smarter than generations before you.

So what can YOU do to get noticed in your generation? Developing the below skills will help you stand out in a crowd:

  1. Make sure you have good verbal communication skills. This means practicing your public speaking and being comfortable talking in groups.
  2. Be patient. Today, people expect things fast, but patience really is a virtue, and if you learn to be patient you will have a skill not many others have.
  3. Learn how to talk to people. Any people, whether they are your friend or not, whether you have things in common with them or you don’t. Learning to carry a conversation with people you know little about (or may not even like!) is a skill fewer and fewer people have, especially with so much communication being done on-line.
  4. Learn how to work with a team.
  5. Have confidence! Get out of the house and do things. Whether it’s playing a sport, volunteering, or just helping around the yard, getting out and getting involved is a great way to build confidence in yourself.

So, does this sound like you? Tell us what you think!


Lost In the Mail

Ever sit near the phone waiting for it to ring? Or run out to the mailbox the minute the mailman comes? Probably not, today there are enough things to keep us busy, you don’t have to just “sit and wait”. But even with distractions, waiting for an invitation you’re not sure you’re going to get can seem long and lonely. What do you do if it never comes?

The birthday party “everyone” is talking about, the after-dance or after-game get together that “everyone” going to. The first thing to think about if you don’t get invited to something is whether you think it was Intentional (on purpose) or Not Intentional (not on purpose).

If you don’t think it was intentional the best thing to do may be simply to tell people “Hey, I’d like to do that too”. I knew a girl once who was disappointed no one included her in the silly pictures they were creating and sending out to each other on-line. It wasn’t until she finally mentioned she wanted to be a part of it that anyone thought she cared – everyone actually thought she didn’t like it!

If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it, and you really are friends with the person, you could invite them to lunch (or to do something else) on a different day, or send them a card (there are cards for just about everything these days). There could be many reasons why you didn’t get included and it’s easy to assume the worst, but most of the time your friends are not trying to hurt your feelings.

If you think the non-invitation was intentional, then you should handle it a little differently. It’s hard even as an adult to feel you’ve outgrown a friendship, or that someone chose not to include you in their event. However, those things happen, as teenagers and as adults. Try not to spend too much time worrying about it. If you think someone is your friend, and they are making you feel bad, they may not be that good a friend after all.

In that case, one of the best things to do is to get out and do something else. Either get together with another friend, spend some time on your favorite hobby, or visit (or write a letter to) someone you haven’t seen in awhile. Keeping busy doing things you enjoy will not only take your mind off of feeling bad, but will also remind you that life goes on, and the best people to spend time with are the ones who really make you feel good about being you!